A blonde lady was driving along the highway when a blonde police officer pulled her over for speeding.
Officer: May i see your licence?
Lady: what does it look like?
Officer: its a rectangular thing with a photo of you on it.
The lady looks through her bag and pulls out her compact mirror and hands it to the officer. 
The officer opens it up and says 'if you had told me you were a police officer I wouldn't have pulled you over.'

Wittle Wabbit 
A little girl walks into a pet shop and asks in the sweetest little lisp: "Excuthe me, mithter, do you keep wittle wabbits?" 
And the shopkeeper gets down on his knees, so that he's on her level, and asks: "Do you want a wittle white wabby or a soft and fuwwy bwack wabby or maybe one like that cute wittle bwown wabby over there?" 
The little girl puts her hands on her knees, leans forward and says in a quiet voice: "I don't fink my pyfon really giveths a thit."